Posted by: stillironic | December 22, 2009

South of the Border University—8

Ignorance in Higher Education

When the accident happened, Gregor felt a tiny twinge of guilt. A twinge so minuscule as to be almost imperceptible, but a twinge nonetheless.

After the assembly, calling others by the name Karl became a campus fad. The “Daily Ice Breaker” even wrote an article recommending a school name change to Karl University; the paper would become the “Daily Karl.” Several students wrote letters to the editor proposing that SOS law school be renamed Roland Roscoe, or Roscoe Roland, College of Law.

Gregor had been beside himself. Lily and other friends swore to him the “Ice Breaker” article was a spoof. Students and many faculty, they insisted, thought Roscoe a narcissistic fool. Even Basil Yeast, who was speaking to Gregor again—ever since Roscoe began advocating a Yeast demotion as an enhancement of the College of Beyond Belief—argued that Roscoe’s stock was down.

Only Izzard, Provost Scissors, and the tenth grade finance director were partial to him. They relished his lack of morals, particularly in light of recent budget deficits. They had especially warmed to his proposal that all supervisors, deans and department heads included, be replaced. Not by someone more effective but by someone who knew not a wit about academic subject taught or purpose of work performed. “For a boss armed with ignorance,” Izzard said with glee, “cutting positions will be easy as pie.”

© 2009 by Virginia Gerhart

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