Posted by: stillironic | January 7, 2010

South of the Border University—13

There Was Something Strange…

As the Yeasts and Gregor and Lily climbed up into the west bleachers, Gregor noticed Roland Roscoe standing mid-field holding a microphone. Normally, Gregor said, announcements were made from the stands. Lily rolled her eyes. “I hear running for state office is on his agenda.”

“My name is Roland Roscoe, acting president of this great university,” Roscoe proclaimed.

Yeast was paying no attention to what was happening on the field. He had launched into a description of his upcoming sabbatical, visiting an agricultural college in a tiny nation once part of the Soviet Union. So tiny, Cloreen said, she hadn’t yet located it on a map. Basil’s efforts to point it out to her always seemed to trigger a migraine.

“It’s a favorite retirement haven for ex CIA,” Yeast said with pride. “Ex MI5, too,” he whispered.

Cloreen was scowling. “They use the Cyrillic alphabet.”

“I keep telling her not to worry,” Yeast said. “Everybody speaks KGB.”

Before Gregor could ask what speaking KGB meant, Roscoe announced the entrance of the Mighty Ice Floes. The “Ride of the Valkyries” came blasting over the P.A. system and the crowd cheered.

Because only a few people knew the ice floe would be coming from the north, everyone was facing the south entrance. Gregor looked north and saw the ice floe hurtling down the hill. Looking south he saw the football team amassed at the entrance.

For Gregor, the rest of the pre-game show unfolded as if in slow motion. Roscoe reached his arms out toward the north entrance. Bowing, he walked backwards a few steps and then motioned toward the ice floe now soaring onto the field.

But there was something strange about the Eskimo commandeering the flatbed truck. He wasn’t in costume, for one thing. Then Gregor saw a guy dressed in costume running down the hill behind the truck, waving his arms.

© 2010 by Virginia Gerhart


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