Posted by: stillironic | January 11, 2010

South of the Border University—16 (Final)

Images in the Wreckage

There was talk at the university of not repairing the bleachers and dedicating the gash to the memory of Roland Roscoe. The tenth grade finance director had suggested this course of action. He had also allocated funds to pay for the application of two coats of varnish to preserve the split and sanguinary wood.

The gash had in fact become a popular gathering place for students, who kept discovering images in the wreckage. Everyone agreed that blood had spattered to form a perfect outline of Elvis’s pompadour. A heated debated arose over a fragment of wood where paint had abraded. Some saw a lamppost, others the face of Prince Charles. One person insisted she saw Leonardo’s Last Supper in its entirety when she stood on the fifth row and gazed down at a section of splinters.

The new president of the university, Cassius Lemchek, however, overruled the finance director. He had the old bleachers burned in a bonfire and negotiated a deal to use the finance director’s high school stadium for all future Mighty Ice Floes football games.

Lemchek had been reinstated as dean of the law school after his suspension by successfully suing Iceberg U for employment discrimination. The university could find no proof that employment at Samuel O. Switchback College of Law required professional competence. From that point it was a short ride to the university presidency.

Gregor left Iceberg U and he and Lily took a road trip out west. After driving to Reno and getting married, they moved to Las Vegas. Lily found another job teaching art and Gregor learned the art of blackjack dealing.

The Yeasts, who left on Basil’s sabbatical in a former Soviet republic, reported they are learning to speak KGB and do not plan on returning any time soon.

The End

© 2010 by Virginia Gerhart


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