Posted by: stillironic | January 13, 2010

Let Me Set the Record Straight—2

Ethical Violations Galore

This acquaintance of mine, as I was saying, wrote this novel. And it was reviewed in the weekly Shaddrach Independent, by a reporter who I will never speak to again. Lila Fester may be competent to report on your traffic light mishaps and fires and such, but she shouldn’t be allowed to touch anything that requires a thinking cap.

She is a product of the Shaddrach public schools, after all, a school system so awash in mediocrity that its best, and soberest, teachers were the substitutes. More importantly, the Independent most certainly committed an ethical violation: the author and Lila Fester play in a Texas Hold ‘Em poker game Wednesday nights, which should have disqualified her right off the bat from reviewing his book.

So, the Independent—as a favor to my blood pressure the name Lila Fester will not pass my lips again—reported that Sitcom made the “local authors” best seller list in Shaddrach and had been spotted in bookstores as far away as Altoona. The Independent called it a roman à clef, which means Romans with feet of clay if I recall my high school French. It tells the story of a “fey and feckless” young woman named, I kid you not, Jejune May Cleavage, who manages, says said nameless reviewer, “to make a fool of herself at every turn of the plot.” (That the novel has no plot seems to have escaped the reviewer as well as its clueless author.)

Now if this author was going to steal and then mutilate a person’s life, couldn’t he have at least shrouded that character’s name in ambiguity? No, he chose to skewer me, June Cleavenger, like a shish kabob, so even neighbors and former schoolmates with full-fledged moronic tendencies wouldn’t miss the connection.

© 2010 by Virginia Gerhart

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