Posted by: stillironic | April 21, 2010

No Beachfront Cardboard Box in My Future

No cardboard box in Ecuador for me. No, sir. I was afraid that my retirement fund had taken too much of a beating when the market plunged in 2008. Relegating JJ and I to retirement in a cardboard box in some South American country. A box on the beach would at least enable us to keep up keep up appearances. I’d already begun learning Spanish and reading up on decorating tips for structures made of recycled paper. I was particularly interested in window treatments.

But lo and behold, after talking to a retirement investment advisor, I learned JJ and I will be able to live quite decently when we retire. Of course, we won’t see retirement till we’re 85. And we will have had to win at least a small Lotto jackpot along the way. But other than that everything’s copasetic.

(BTW, the advisor doesn’t work on commission. Therefore he won’t be selling me securities he’s already set into freefall for another client á la Goldman Sachs.)

This removes a huge burden from my shoulders. I hate when there’s sand on the floor, which would be unavoidable living in a box on the beach. I also hate to ask friends who visit to sleep in trees, with termites. And there’d be no place to hang their resort wear, at least not indoors. I wonder if you can refer to the inside of a cardboard box as “indoors”?

Doesn’t matter. Not my problemo, anymore.



  1. but I was really looking forward to “the view”

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