Posted by: stillironic | April 27, 2010

Hotel Karma: Is Yours Good or Bad?

Are you offered room upgrades every time you check into a hotel? Me neither. I’ve spent nights in places where the typical clientele are escaped convicts and pimps even.

These loathsome lodgings were NEVER my idea. They were my traveling companion’s. He tricked me into agreeing that being frugal was a good thing. Am I really that gullible? The answer is no.

Apparently, the answer is I don’t have good hotel karma.

Who knew there was such a thing?

The way hotel karma works is this: Karma comes from a past life. And you build up good or bad karma depending on whether you stayed in crappy dumps while traveling or in nice hotels. Good hotel karma in this life means you stayed in crappy dumps in a former life. And vice versa.

Say it’s the 13th century and you’re into the Crusades. Bedding down in caves full of bat guano would have earned you excellent hotel karma for your next life. (Unless, of course, you were reborn a century later during the bubonic plague. But that has to do with your whole karmic footprint. Here we’re focusing strictly on hotel karma.)

I obviously spent my most recent past life living it up in fine hotels, inns, chateaus, castles, what have you. Not only did I build up bad hotel karma as a result of these experiences, I have NO MEMORY of them. To put it another way, I’m fucked.

Luckily, I was able to find a support group for those of us living with hotel karma challenges. My group assures me that my horrid hotel experiences are at least earning me good karma points for a future life, be it mine or someone else’s. I wish I could draw comfort from this knowledge, but I can’t. What if that someone else is someone I despise: my nasty second grade teacher, for instance, or that polyester guy in Columbus, Ohio, who undertipped me when I was a waitress.

I think, however, it may be possible to divest yourself of some bad hotel karma and replace it with good, while still alive and kicking. It may involve staying at a hotel so ghastly it’s shunned even by escaped convicts, pimps, AND serial killers. The reason I say this: As a result of a cunning campaign of misinformation, I agreed to stay with JJ at a hotel in Key West. “It’s closed,” he’d said, “but only technically.”  It was beyond divey. The main entrance was barred. The pool was condemned. Half the siding had been ripped off the building. The only amenities: water and electricity. I have to say, though, ever since the dive in Key West, every hotel we’ve stayed in has looked first class and swanky.



  1. Hotel karma… is it something you are born with like having good taste, or as suggested finally a payoff for the miserable life of your past? This begs an interesting question….. should this rather be called Inn or lodging karma? How far back does one have to go to receive or be eligible for hotel karma? If in fact one does not come by it naturally?
    What about parking karma? In a past life did you park the donkey cart in the wrong spot? Henceforth, you are punished and can Never find a parking spot in this or some other life ?

    • I never could find a space for that %&#@ donkey cart. I think one can have a good overall karmic footprint, whatever the eff that means, and still have bad karma when it comes to, say, picking mates or getting stung by wasps. Hey, you started this whole hotel karma thing. Karma, shmarma. 🙂

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